I Must Be Fit

I used to have a “thing” with this boy. Boy A, and he pretty much was a huge asshole, and screwed me over. We are in the same group of friends, and I’m not one to hold grudges, so we’ve become civil, maybe even friends a bit. Recently he as acquired a girlfriend, and it just hurts me so bad. I really liked him, and I liked what we had. I have kind of a problem with commitment, and I usually get sick of people, but I didn’t with him. Probably because he’s an asshole and kept me on my toes.

I’ve been talking to this new boy…and he’s a really nice guy. I know he wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt me. And the thing is, I don’t feel the same way about him. I like him…I just don’t know if I can be his girlfriend. Probably because that scares the crap out of me. And I don’t feel like it would be fair to him, because of what I’m still feeling towards boy A.

I hooked up with boy A again recently too…and after that I felt that I never wanted to do that again. I don’t know if its just me being jealous that he’s happy, mad that he’s happy, or that I still like him. I just want him gone forever…and I want to be able to just like this new boy. I don’t know what to do.

My back aches so badly from laying down so much. I have no appetite. I drank some Gatorade just to have calories at all. This sucks.

I’ve been soo tired all day and my stomach is upset. I can barley eat :/. I feel like I’ve been feeling less than 100% lately, but I really wanted to run today. I can tell it’s not going to happen :(

I feel like just laying on my couch and/or sleeping all day. Ugh.

Should I try for a longer run tomorrow? (and by long, I mean longer than what I’ve been doing which is about 2-2.5) Hey, I’m trying to get back into shape!

or should I do the 30 day shred and some laps in the pool?